I'm at 8 weeks and officially sicker than a dog!
I am not sure why they call it "morning" sickness, because in reality it lasts all day and all night long. There are days when I get feeling pretty good around lunch time, but then when dinner rolls around I'm back to feeling crappy. I joke and say,
"It's the best reason in the world to feel like crap!"
But that really is the truth. I wouldn't give up my baby just to feel better, so I'll tough it out. Usually the only times that I throw up is if I gag on my toothbrush or something like that, but the past few days there is no knowing why I'll throw up... it just happens. Like this morning, for example, I was eating my eggs and toast and just felt out of nowhere that I was going to throw up... and I did. So the crappy part is there is no way I can finish eating when I just threw up BECAUSE I just threw it up. So I threw the rest away and had to make myself yet another breakfast. On Friday, I had to really get up the energy to make myself some lunch and immediately after eating the last bite, I was in the bathroom throwing it up.
I just cried.
We had our first doctor's appointment on Thursday, June 26th. They confirmed that my due date is February 4th, 2015. The first thing we did was get an ultrasound.
That was one of the most incredible things I had ever experienced. It confirmed to me that there really was a baby in there even though it still didn't feel real. Shane was so cute because he had his phone out recording the whole thing and he kept moving back and forth between me and the two screens and asking lots of questions. I have never in my life seen him so excited. That made me feel so good and
I fell in love with him all over again.
The moment we got to hear the heartbeat was probably the very most amazing part. I gasped as I got emotional and listened to the quick thumping. Shane was absolutely amazed and got even more excited (which I didn't think was possible at this point). He again started asking a million questions and moving between me and both screens.
When it comes to sharing your good news with others, there are SO many opinions about what is "right". Well... for us right is getting to share our exciting news even if later we have to share the bad news. There are many people who choose to keep it a secret until they are in the "safe zone", but then if something happens, they have the burden of only sharing the bad news and never getting to share the exciting news.
Because we have been trying for almost a year and there were many people praying for us along this journey, we felt that they deserved to hear the exciting news and WE wanted to get to tell them so they could change their prayers and be excited with us.
However, we did not make this decision right after finding out. It turns out that my sweet husband is actually WORSE at keeping our secrets than I am (if you can believe that). The day after we found out, we were visiting Shane's family for the day to help with a few things around the house and with the business. I had fallen asleep in the recliner and Shane swore his mom seamed "suspicious". I think the truth is that he just really wanted to give her some good news while she was struggling with some health issues. In any case, he said to her,
"We might be with child!"
He didn't tell me until we were on our drive home that he had spilled the beans and I wanted to be upset with him, but secretly I was really glad because this meant that we weren't going to keep it a secret. I guess I just don't like secrets... I like sharing my excitement with others.
The day we were headed up to visit my family and go to Rachael's wedding shower, Shane's parents showed up right when we were getting ready to leave. We mentioned to Shane's mom that we were going to tell my family when we got up there and she said, "Well speaking of telling, can I tell your father??" I laughed out loud because I just assumed she had already told him! He said, "Tell me what??" and she said, "They're pregnant!" His eyes got HUGE and this cutest grin showed up that I've never seen before. It was so fun to see him get so excited.
While we were in Disneyland (and obviously before I knew I was pregnant), I kept telling my family that I was going to make a video of the whole trip with the video clips and pictures we had taken throughout the whole thing. When I found out I was pregnant though... it got even more exciting for me because I decided to tell them at the end of the video. I had everyone send me a text of what their favorite part of the trip was and they said things like, "I really liked eating at the Bangal Beef place every day." or, "My favorite part was the World of Color show." or, "I loved laughing and joking with everyone, especially when Shane and Izaak were shimmying and walking." They came up with really fun things that they loved.
Everyone was loving the video and it was so fun because Shauna and Nik and their kids were even there watching it. Everyone was laughing at all of the goofy things and they were really just enthralled with the whole thing. The very last thing was mine and it said, "My favorite part was most definitely coming home." My dad read it out loud and then giggled. When he looked back at the screen it was a picture of our positive pregnancy test and he gasped,
"What?"
Shauna squealed, my mom bawled, Rachael got choked up, and Izaak threw his arms around me.
It was a perfect reaction and I was SO happy about it. I had gotten really nervous on the way up there that they wouldn't get excited for some reason and I was just nervous that I would ruin the surprise somehow, but everything worked out perfectly and everyone was so excited.
On the Sunday before Memorial Day, Shane and I left for a vacation with my parents, Rachael, Taylor, and Izaak to Disneyland, California Adventures, and Universal Studios. We had SO much fun even though our feet have never hurt so bad. We probably haven't been quite that tired in a long time too. I had packed a pregnancy test to take on the trip because I thought Shane and I were going to stay in our own hotel, but we ended up just blowing up an air mattress on the floor of my parents condo and saving about $600 (TOTALLY WORTH IT).
Over the past year of trying to get pregnant, I have gotten many negative pregnancy tests. Naturally, I was sure that this one would be negative as well. I just didn't take it (plus I didn't want to take it with all of my family there and now I'm REALLY glad I didn't take it because I would have been worried about going on all of the rides and would have had to explain to my family why so there wouldn't be any secret or surprise later on). My family talked us into going with them Sunday morning and caravanning all the way to California instead of us leaving Monday morning. I was really glad we did that because then Izaak rode with us and we all decided to go to Disneyland on Monday too instead of just Tuesday and Wednesday. We went to Huntington Beach on Sunday as soon as we got finished checking into the condo.
It was so nice spending that stress-free, quality time with my family again. I realized how much I miss vacationing them, but enjoyed every minute. Shane admitted too that "it's a lot more fun vacationing with your family." haha He HATED our honeymoon in San Diego, so he was dreading going back to California again. Luckily my family changed his mind.
On Thursday when we were done with Universal Studios, Shane and I just decided to head straight home because it was only about a 7 hour drive and my family was staying in a "studio" condo that night in San Diego. Lucky for us, they BARELY all fit in that condo so there is no way Shane and I would have fit. We probably would have had to buy a hotel room anyway and then we wouldn't have been very happy. So it was perfect that we headed home, even though the LA traffic was insane (basically stopped for a long way).
On Friday, I woke up and before I got in the shower I checked my period tracker app to see when I was supposed to start. When I saw that I was two days late, I honestly didn't think anything of it and even when I took the first test, I really just expected a negative.
It IMMEDIATELY showed both lines BOLD.
I had to grab the instructions and double check that two lines actually meant I was pregnant!
All of my negative tests seemed to take forever to show the results and this was seriously immediate. I wish I had saved enough pee to take a second test right then because I was just sure that it was lying (because I only paid like 86 cents for that test so I just assumed it was a faulty test). I had to get in the shower after that though and try not to think about it because I was freaking out inside.
When I got out, I still knew I couldn't make myself pee and I didn't want to drink anything because then your pee is diluted and it can produce a false negative... so I started timidly making a card to tell Shane the beyond exciting news that I hadn't let myself believe yet. I was also searching google to see if it was actually possible to get a false positive test. Then I ran back into the bathroom and forced myself to pee enough to get the second test to work.
ANOTHER POSITIVE.
And this time from a $12 test so it HAD to be true!
I took the card to Shane while I was shaking like crazy. Suddenly I wondered if I was really ready, even though we had been trying for almost a year now and I had been praying for this every night since then. On the front of the card it had a sticker that said, "True Story" and on the inside on the top flap I taped the two positive tests and on the bottom flap I wrote,
"I guess we will be celebrating Father's Day this year... YOU'RE GOING TO BE A DADDY!!! XOXO"
I was extremely nervous to tell Shane because I had NO idea how he was going to react. When I got into the living room, he was sound a sleep on the couch. I couldn't wait any longer to tell him so I woke him up and said, "I have something for you." He was still a little loopy but he took it and started reading... "Wait... really?" Of course I started crying (it's just what I do and more so now that I'm expecting and have crazy hormones going on).
"Well what the heck does this mean now?? Dang it! I'm excited! I didn't want to get excited!" haha He went on like that for a few minutes and we just admitted to each other that we were REALLY excited but we were also both really nervous of the unknown and the money.
I then called the doctor and set my first appoinment. She said, "Well it looks like you are 4 weeks and two days and we'll see you at 8 weeks, so it'll be the week of June 23rd." I'M ALREADY 4 WEEKS?? The news just kept getting better
I don't believe I have ever been so excited and so terrified in my entire life! It is pretty incredible the roller coaster of emotions that can come along with a positive pregnancy test. After getting nearly 12 negative tests before, you would think I would be completely prepared for this incredible surprise right? Wrong!
